The "Badgers" of Cliff Parade

11.58.53am BST (GMT +0100) Thu 16th Oct 2008

Mr and Mrs Badger and family, enjoying the comfort of spacious accommodation under Cliff Parade, are likely to be there for some time yet, reports Cllr Alan Crystall.

Badger licences come under two different Government departments, and with lack of interdepartmental communication, holidays and sickness and days off for we know not what, a licence to start to put in some one way gates to enable them to leave and not return has not yet been granted.

The inconvenience and cost of six months delay to thousands of Southend residents remains with a handful of Whitehall bureaucrats for a family of Badgers that no one has seen and may or may not be in residence. There was certainly a paw print, but no finger of suspicion. The clues tail off. Have we uncovered "Badgergate"?

Is there a conspiracy to house homeless badgers.?

Southend-on-Sea council want to support the slipping road, the Gas Board wants to put in a new gas main, yet through the world banking crisis, global warming and international recession, the badgers of Cliff Parade sleep on, undisturbed.

Perhaps, Cllr Crystall suggests, they have been gassed by a leaking ancient gas main that needs replacing.